This post may be a bit of a vent. I’m hoping I can find some thoughtfulness in my irritation.

The day really was fine. We woke up about an hour outside of Phoenix, having rested at a rest stop for the night. Drove in, checked into the local elks lodge. 

Met up with our good friends for some park time. Back to the rv, fed the kids, watched some tv. 

First sign of trouble, a knock at the door at 7pm. I was out gathering groceries, but deon reported a complaint when Jedi was crying, as 3 year olds do sometimes.

An uneventful evening, and we almost had everyone tucked into bed when we received another knock. Park host again, footsteps too loud in the rv. What?!? You’ve *got* to be kidding me. At this point, I’m totally stressed. What if my 1 year old cries in the middle of the night? I don’t think I can handle another knock. 

Deon and I agree we need to leave. I go inside to ask for a refund, which they agree to mail to me. I tearfully rebuke the park hosts. We hook up and leave. RV laws are difficult here, and our regular go-tos are probably not a good idea. We try a casino: full. We finally hide out in a bass pro shop parking lot, illegal, but fairly unobtrusive. No knocks, so I guess we did alright. 

But it leaves me with a burning feeling. A feeling of injustice. This was not a 55+ park. I have as much right as anyone to be there. And my kids weren’t loud. They were not play screaming, they weren’t wandering outside unattended, and there were no loud movies, etc. RVs are not sound proof, but if you are living this lifestyle, you know that. It could just as easily have been an old person with a hacking cough all night. We are talking about human beings here. Complain about dogs barking, complain about loud TVs, but people going about their business? Their only crime was being kids, and fairly quiet respectful ones at that. 

And the other side of this coin is my own reaction. I have quite a few words of wisdom floating around in my head that are applicable, but I really struggle with other’s expectations. I want to meet them. I want my children to meet them. I get stressed and yell at my children when someone implies they are “bad.” In short, I become a bad parent. When my kids need me to stick up for them the most, I have a tendency to betray them. Leaving tonight was the best way to care for them and myself. I hope some day I will have words. I will care more about what my children think than about what society thinks. In the meantime, I will take their little hands in mine and walk away.